The beginning of it all.

This is my first time writing on a blog like this. But I can't keep my thoughts to myself anymore, it's no good. 

This past year as been one long and slightly horrible time. Although a lot of amazing things happened, it hasn't been good. I lost the guy i loved for two beautiful years, i tired to kill myself, and i got into a lot of trouble with the law. Life...what can i honestly say about it? It's amazing, horrible, and crazy all in one. Near the end of January I was dating this boy named Christian. We were together for two years, but it went down hill some how.We broke up, he moved out of state to get away from me. Over all, it broke me into pieces. I lost the love of my life and my best friend. On February 2nd i tried to kill myself because i couldn't handle living without him in my life. I got out a few days later and pretended life was perfectly fine. But it wasn't. For a long time i lied, and did whatever i could to get my parents worries to go away. I started seeing a therapist weekly. It honestly helped me sometimes. I didn't talk to Christian for an extremely long time and it was still killing me bit by bit. Slowly i started to let go, to just be free and try not to think about him. It helped, i opened up a little more and started letting people into my life. But before i knew it my life was in the drain again. I got into trouble with the law two times in one weekend, then again later on in the year. It completely messed up my life. I lost friends, trust, and hope. I got most of the law things handled but right now I'm still on probation for a stupid choice i made because i wanted people to like me. Oh well, i digress. Ever since i started probation, i stopped lying to my parents. It's helped me a lot. I trust myself more then i did before. I never have to worry about getting into trouble because i know I'm being completely honest with them. I'm really hoping they trust me more. I've been working so hard to get their trust back, its unbelievable. I'm in school again, and it's going great. I love my new school and my new group of friends. They're all great kids, and i trust them. They all are guys, but there is nothing wrong with that. I guess i just get along better with the guys then the girls, but it's always been like that. Now, I'm just living my life day by day. Wake up, shower, school, work, sleep. Or Wake up, shower, hangout, sleep. With a little homework in between. This is my life, and it gets crazier by the minute. You'll see.